| i left my mom a note saying i'd throw myself down the stairs if she didn't turn the air on. |
[13 Sep 2008|04:54pm] |
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romantic rights - death from above 1979 |
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i want anybody & everybody who comes across this
to leave me an annoymous comment. it can be anything you want;
a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - ANYTHING!
just post anonymously & honestly.
k, cool.
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| sc re en ed. |
[01 Jan 2006|02:23pm] |
this is the worst mistake i've made and i make thousands every day.
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| i'll just pretend i'm in a good mood & do this. k! |
[31 Dec 2005|01:54pm] |
i know you've seen them 10,000 times. & i know i do this all the time. but this is seriously the last huge picture post of 2005. then you'll never have to see this again. well not until i bring them out in like another year & say "omg look how gay i wuz~~~!!!" there are 380 pictures under the cut. just thought you should know! |
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| ok so here it goes. i know this whole thing will sound dumb but, whatever. |
[30 Dec 2005|11:18pm] |
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i can't take it - tegan and sara |
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i have seriously been balling my eyes out on and off all day. for so many reasons. like this is honestly just SO fucking stupid. almost every single day since the day after christmas have been the worst days ever. why?
1. i'm sorry, but lately (and yeah normally i am fine with 'who i am'. that or i just don't care) i find myself to be thee most disgusting person EVER. like seriously i hate everything i own. all my clothes and the way i dress. EVERYTHING. i hate my hair, it's dumb and gross and my bangs are always fucked up. my face is seriously. ugh. i'm sorry, i truly honestly do believe i have the grossest frkn face ever.
2. i'm pretty sure (and i'm sorry guys.. have to say it. even if it's not the case) i've been replaced by different people and/or you've just moved on and found something new or better. this break i've hung out with the people/person i would usually hang out with, or at least i think, a lot more twice. TWICE. all of my friends, or lack there of, have other 'groups' they can go to. me? i have like one. and i'm not complaining, i like having a small amount of friends. but it just has been sucking so hard lately. i have not been going anywhere, or doing anything. has anybody noticed? ANYBODY? well let me answer my own question and say i don't really think so. and this stuff really doesn't sound too bad until it happens to you. like to me and everything else that's going on this is hell. like i want to die. NOT EVEN KIDDING. i don't know how many times i'm going to say 'i know that sounds dumb' but i seriously do know this sounds dumb. i hate it. like. how do i word this whole thing without making it sound like i want people to make sure i'm happy all the time or you can't be happy unless i am or something? because i'm not saying that at all. i guess all i really want even though you are all having like omgz da best dayz evar~ i just want you all to think about how bad it would suck if you were me right now. i know i don't have it bad at all but compared to how my life usually goes, this is just horrible. this is the worst possible way to end 2005 ever.
3. i've re-typed this & re-typed & re-typed & re-typed but i can't explain it without making it obvious. and i really don't want it to be. so i'm not even going to say it. i really, really don't feel like going into it. but please don't ask me about it. and if you think it's you, it probably is. why would you think it's you if you didn't do anything? yep.
i seriously want to move into my dads house so bad. SO BAD. you have no fucking idea. but i don't have the balls to. so i'm not going to sit here and try to 'scare you' into thinking i am like most people do. because i never will. but i want to more then anything else in the world.
edit if i sit at home alone with my mom tomorrow, i'm seriously. jkhdfjkh2198347dfkjhkjehkjdskfj. i have no fucking clue what i'll do.
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[27 Dec 2005|03:13pm] |
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the last song - the all american rejects |
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SO HEY. make plans with me! because i'm too shy to ask. but i'm going to cry if i don't do something soon. i did nothing yesterday & for some reason like wanted to die. UGH! no really it was the worst day ever. maybe people should stop hating me. or maybe i should quit thinking that. i'd probably go with the second one.
but i'm ordering some some flats from delias. & like two shirts. hopefully that makes me feel better. even though i won't be getting one shirt shipped to me until 1/27/06. DUMB? very. well in a way it isn't because i'm going to forget about it & then a package is going to be sitting on my porch one day for me & i'm going to be so excited!
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| release the bats fob dvd wasn't as good as i thought it was going to be :( |
[25 Dec 2005|11:38pm] |
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i woke up in a car - something corporate |
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lately i feel like people are: a. sick of me or b. annoyed of me OK, or c. they want me to like never talk to them again! & that they do not like me. kind of like i'm just kind of.. there. heycool. i sound really dumb but really :( ughh. i hate when i'm like this..? pretty much.
ANYWAY!
christmas was really good. i got a bunch of frkn money & an ipod & a lot of mac make-up. best christmas ever. didn't get a sidekick since my dad forgot what it was called. but i don't minddd. i talked to devin for a realllllllly long time yesterday. about everything. not gonna lie, i liked it a lot.
i'm far too lazy to carry out that 3 months from 2005 thing. so i'm just not going to. BUT!, i'm looking into buying a new camera. & i pretty much think i want the olympus e-300. 8.0 megapixels & it seriously has a remote control which is what i've always wanted. doubt i'll get it though. but it's pretty ok to dream.
my outfit was really cute today.
i hope everybody had a nice christmas! & got cute things. ilyall<3. :*
(POST SCRIPT) my dad is my favorite.
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[22 Dec 2005|01:33pm] |
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school spirit - kanye west |
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i always hate breaks because i get really scared i'm not going to do anything over them. so. hi, please hang out with me? :(. oh! & another reason i hate breaks is because now i cannot watch evan cook all hour in earth science with john wentz. so amazing, you have no idea. oh well. at least i made really fucking good cream cheese sugar cookies yesterday!  |
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[18 Dec 2005|08:09pm] |
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where does the good go - tegan and sara |
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friday i went to donnas for her party. it was a really really really good night. i kind of like my friends a lot. ( asdfghjkl; )saturday i pretty much get pissed about something that i'm seriously not even going to say & am not going to be un-mad about until the day comes & it's over with. oh! & i wrapped presents & watched cheesy christmas movies. cooooooooooooooool. today i didn't do anything either. i do however need to clean out my dressers in my room so i can put clothes in them. plus i need to find old good hardcover books to create this thing i've been wanting to do for forever. hopefully i can get started on it & finish by the end of break. note to self i guess? my mom bought me the sweater from ae that i wanted. even though it's a christmas present & they didn't have the beige & white stripped one i wanted. she got me shoes to match. awwwzzz. 
now me & jesse's mom can be twins, haha.
but seriously this one will be mine one day:
ily.
i hope everybody had a really good weekend. three days until break.
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[15 Dec 2005|05:57pm] |
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neverevereverdid - architecture in helsinki |
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friday jesse & shayna came over. jesse thought she would be really cool & annoy the living crap out of me by playing batman pinball until she got 9,999 points. seriously not funny since you cannot turn the sound off! :( but i hung out with shayna! finallyyyyy.   saturday i went to the mall with jesse, shayna, jessica & alyx & then back to jesse's where her mom made us the nicest sandwhiches & we talked to her dad about like everything! then me, jesse, alyx & ashley went to kims for donnas surprise party & played jenga for like an hour before she got there! but when she did it was really nice & it was seriously such a good night! i liked it. i also like dancing with jesses dad to like 80's rap & then DRIVING AROUND looking at xmas lights in my sub while listening to shake by the ying yang twins. hahaha. not gonna lie, i thought it was incredible. ( asdfghjkl; )wednesday i went to the hellogoodbye & rocket summer show! with jesse & donna & alyx. i actually really liked yesterday. to sum it up: . waiting outside for forever in ten degree weather.
. the opening band being david melillo & me having no clue that they were playing! & now me loving them all over again.
. hit the lights being the worst band ever plus crazy/ugly/drunk 30 year olds with braces who called donnas necklace anal beads, LOL. no really worst/ugliest boy.
. the crowd being horrible during that dumb band & getting pushed like all the way to the back. what da heeeeeeCK!
. the rocket summer being AMAZING & me seriously falling in love with bryce avary.
. the magic stick being the hottest place ever & me being really dumb by wearing the biggest/thickest vest ever!
. hellogoodbye playing all time lows.
. hellogoodbye in general & them being better then when i seen them in ohio.
. the fact that they ended with touchdown turnaround.so at the very end, during the middle of the song, a lot of people started going on stage, so i was like heyyyyyyyyy i want to too. just fo da hell of it. so we did & i uh kind of regret it because it was the most ridiclous thing ever! it's pretty cool to have like 100 people on a stage this |------| big. but i did get some pretty bad pictures! ( qwertyuiop )i really like spending like 3 hours on lj posts.
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| i seriously don't care about lj cuts they're not even that big be quiet! |
[13 Dec 2005|08:37pm] |
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shake - the ying yang twins ft. pitbull |
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i have not updated in 4e! so here you go.
TODAY IS DONNAS BIRTHDAY! happy birthday donna. 
i like you a lot/i basically want to do the following this weekend/over break really bad:
1. build a gingerbread house
2. go ice skating
3. go to chuck e. cheese. again.
4. hang out with sam. (you should seriously come over this weekend & make a gingerbread house with me! & i meannnn it. we really need to hang out because i haven't seen you in forever & it makes me mad)
5. hang out with renee? hay grl if you want to of course. seriously hit meh ^.
6. put you are beautiful signs everywhere/give them to everybody.
7. finish the dumb magazine collage i have been working on for like a year
8. finish covering the wall in my room up.& a lot more. i just can't think of anything at the moment! but i really need to get like a lot of that done or i'm going to be upset. 12 days until christmas & i am so frickinnn excited. especially to see if i get a hiptop or not. because i asked for it & my dad said maybe but if i don't get that i get money & if i get money that means i can get this beautiful baby: 
so niceeeeeei've been wanting it for a long time now & if i have enough money for it after christmas it's definitely going to be mine. it takes the most amazing pictures i have ever seen. so thanks to that ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) scottage_cheese guy for having it. well if i don't end up getting it then actually i was just kidding about thanking you. not getting my hopes up was never really my strong point. 
so nice :(tomorrow is hellogoodbye & i am frickinnn pumped. so i'll pretty much update with pictures from last weekend & hellgoodbye on thursday. i've been so incredibly lazy lately. the ying yang twins are the only thing i have been listening to as of late. & let me tell you, i don't hate it. but i do really hate when you deny somebodys request on myspace because they are like 23 & then they keep trying to add you. what the heck! seriously go away. |
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| haha. mine suckssss. |
[08 Dec 2005|08:48pm] |
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yule shoot your eye out - fall out boy |
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go to your calendar & find the first entry for each month of 2005. post part of it in your journal & that's your year in review
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| i realize a lot of these are really long & really creepy sounding & me being repetivjh. but whatevs! |
[05 Dec 2005|06:59pm] |
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top five addictions - hidden in plain view |
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"write paragraphs or statements about the people who have been on your mind, without saying their name, or anything giving them away, including gender and relationship to you, simply addressing them as "you". do it if you will. it feels kinda good."
01. we used to hang out so much & i really don't know what happened. it really sucks that we don't even at least say hi to each other in school. maybe you got sick of me & found people who you thought were better & worth your time. i have no idea. i just hope that you're really happy. but if you know who you are, which i hope you do because i never have enough guts to im you & tell you this but i really do love you. i think you are probably one of the greatest & funniest people ever. i don't think there was a time where i've been happier when hanging out with somebody.
02. you are not going to read this but lately you've been bugging me a lot. all you care about is one one thing & it's pretty much changing who you are. every once & awhile you're the person i'm used to you being but.. i don't know. i don't want to go on further. it'll only make me sound [more] selfish.
03. there isn't a day where i don't think about you. somebody will say something that reminds me of you & i get really happy but then really sad because. well do i even need to say it? what happened to us? i love you & miss you. i hope one day we can become close again. like how we used to be. but if that never happens i want you to know that i would be the biggest mess if you weren't there for me those couple of years. thank you. really.
04. becoming so close to you would definitely be one of the things i'm most thankful for this year. you really probably don't even understand how thankful. you have got to be one of the most amazing people ever. i love how i can make a complete ass out of myself with you & then be serious two seconds later & have the greatest conversations. i have a lot i would like to write down but i really can't [as cheesy as this sounds] figure out how to put it into words. ilov eyou.
05. out of all of my friends, i can relate to you the most. & that's just one of the many things i love about you! i find it so easy to tell you certain things about me that i just couldn't tell anybody else. for being so easy to talk to, understanding & always willing to listen, i thank you. you really truly are a great person. especially for still being my friend after all the dumb shit we've gotten into fights about. (♥)
06. so, basically. i think you are one of the greatest people! you can always make me laugh & every time we hang out, even if it is rare, i think it's one of the best things ever. i don't know why but still. we need to hang out real soon because we haven't in awhile & my step dad loves you/ hahaha. oh. & i guess because i miss you a lot or something.
07. you are a bit too honest for your own good & i think that is going to get you into trouble one day but haha. i love you for it sometimes. but only when you don't do it to me because it's sucks a lot but that's a different story. regardless of whether you really mean it or not, you laugh at pretty much everything & it makes me feel really nice. out of all of the people i'm friends with, you & your personality stand out the most. i really like that about you.
08. ok. here comes another one of those 'i miss how close we used to be' ones. but it's true. & i bring it up a lot to you & other people. i really don't know why stopped being so close. but i honestly wish it would have never happened. some of my favorite moments/days/times everevervevevrvevr were with you. i am really glad that we've been hanging out, though. even if it is just every once & awhile & we're with all of our friends each time. i think we need to hang out alone one time because you are amazing & i love you a lot.
09. we seriously made out in the hallway today. c/m.
10. you're not going to read this either but it's become pretty much impossible for me to do anything of this sort & not mention you. probably because i've known you all of my life & you've helped with me through more then anybody else has & ever will. i look up to you so much. you ARE the best person in the whole world. every single time i hang out with you it's nothing short of amazing. i know it's sounds dumb, but we really are the same person. i still to this day cannot believe how strong of a person you are & how you, no matter what, put everybody before you. ily more then you know.
11. you are so funny. i really love talking to you. you bring up the same stories a lot of the time but it seems like they only get better. i'm glad we talk again. i really, really, really hope we become good friends. all over again.
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| daddy choppy/ |
[30 Nov 2005|10:45pm] |
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it'5 - architecture in helsinki |
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not gonna' lie. i seriously love architecture in helsinki SO. FREAKIN. MUCH!
i am so looking foward to december. it is going to be amazing. & break. i like school & all but seriously break will be so nice. like 16 more school days left or something. :)!!!!
ily life.
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| I LOVE CHRISTMAS! |
[27 Nov 2005|07:46pm] |
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saturday - fall out boy |
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SUP THANKSGIVING BREAK?
wednesday i went to the movies to see harry potter with alyx, ashley, donna, jesse, jessica & shayna. seriously such a good movie & day! ( +4 )
thursday ew. dumbest day evah. friday i was supposed to go out to lunch with my dad but that didn’t work out & i was also supposed to hang out with jesse but that didn’t work out either! so i pretty much just put up the christmas tree by myself, drank hot chocolate & watched clueless. \m/ saturday we went to coney, meijers!!!!! \m/ & starbucks/quiznos (where i did an amazing evan cook impression) with alyx, jesse, mike & ron. jesse stayed the night & we are the worst people ever! i enjoy being retarded by taping magazine cut outs of peoples eyes, noses & lips on our face, dressing nu-metal/singing limp bizkit & me being really obnoxious at 2 in the morning with her. serious. ( +44 )
today i feel like complete crapppppppppppp/ i was supposed to go to somerset with donna & kaili but i didn’t. my fault, my problem. so i said i should put up all those posters on my wall. yeah, didn’t happen. i am horrible!
note to self try to wash off the i ♥ satan, anarchy 4L & pentagrams written all over your hands/arms. cool.
OH, PS i seriously have 666 songs on iTUNES!!!!!
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[26 Nov 2005|12:16pm] |
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dropkick the punks - the faint |
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( ugh so dumb! )
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| i edited this entry so much. |
[25 Nov 2005|08:18pm] |
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xmas cake - rilo kiley |
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i miss making fun of justin b because he looked like the boy with
down syndrome in our biology book.
1. today was a pretty dumb day! i actually really dislike it. like a lot! i had plans to do two things & both didn't work out. but i hope tomorrow is good. just so long as. eh, forget it. sunday should be good too. 2. i put the christmas tree up by myself. cool. 3. my 10 year old cousions friend keeps iming me saying the same thing. "hi dis is kennedyz friend maria she gave me ur sn" lol. 
SERIOUSLY LOVE MARIA or whateva!
cloveragent3421: r u suppose to learn how to drive a car in 10th grade!?
haze of a city: heLl ya!!
cloveragent3421: o
haze of a city: sRry.. do u miNd if i swear??
cloveragent3421 no
haze of a city: kkz
LMAO.speaking of my 10 year old cousion she called me fat yesterday while i was just sitting there reading. COOL, THANKS. 4. i downloaded a whole bunch of christmas music by good bands expecting it to be good but it all sucks. seriously ruined my night! 5. i've been doodling with this pepermint pen all day. seriously smells so good. |
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[24 Nov 2005|01:19pm] |
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save your generation - fall out boy |
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so.. what am i thankful for you ask?
( +24 )
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| in history we learned about the STFU clan or something. |
[22 Nov 2005|10:03pm] |
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yule shoot your eye out - fall out boy |
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( so. )
this entry was all about me. lol!
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